Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Mission Impossible Squirrel


Think again if you think you can get rid of these squirrels.



This takes place in deepest East Texas near Lovelady. The owner of the yard added each piece of the Rube Goldberg contraption slowly so that when the squirrel learned one section and got the nuts, they added another section. Finally, it ended with what you see on the video! It took place over two-months to get to this point.



Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Holiday Funnies



Christmas Cartoons

















Monday, December 27, 2010

The Truth Behind the JFK Assasination

This isn't a Funny Video, but I thought it was interesting..... Check it out.


Do you remember Lyndon Johnson saying on TV the day after the
Kennedy assassination, that the

world would never know all the facts
surrounding Kennedys killing for

75 years until the complete file of information would be revealed.

I also remember Walter Cronkite announcing on TV, that the Nation

could not handle the full truth in that Century. Well, only 47 years have

passed since Kennedy's assassination.


This is hard to fake and is very chilling....... who was driving?

This video shows the limousine chauffeur that takes President
J.F.K. and his wife, November 22nd 1963 in
Dallas , Texas , shooting the gun with his left hand.
This was the video that the CIA did not show to the public view. And did you ask yourself why was Jackie trying to run away towards the
trunk, away from the front of the car? And why was JFK's skull wound in the front, when supposedly Oswald shot him from the back??







Crazy stuff!

It might be true or it might not but it looks pretty real.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

You are so Grounded!

I might have to do more then ground my kid if they did this to me!!





Sad thing is this is something I would have done to my Mom.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Mama's Bible

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful
doctors and lawyers, and prospered.


Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They
discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who
lived far away in another city.


The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."


The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built
in the house."


The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."


The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and
you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well.
I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the
entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had
to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the
church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter
and verse and the parrot will recite it."


The other brothers were impressed.


After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:


"Milton, the house you built is so huge I live in only one room, but
I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."


"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries
delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good.
Thanks."


"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it
could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my
hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for
the gesture just the same."


"Dearest Bob, you were the only son to have the good sense to
give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious.
Thank you." Luv Ya.

Jesus and the Democrat

A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and
asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the
restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"


The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she
give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He
shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for
a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked,
"Is that Jesus, over there?"

The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of
hot tea, "My treat."


The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches
He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey!
How's about getting me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked
across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there?

The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold
beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and
said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt
the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the
door.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your
kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back
straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a
series of back flips out the door.


Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling.

The Democrat jumped up and yelled,



"Don't touch me ... I'm collecting
disability."

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Priceless!!!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Blonds are the best!

A blonde & her husband are lying in bed
Listening to the next door neighbor's dog...
It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours.
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this."
She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed
And her husband says, "The dog is still barking,
What have you been doing?"

The blonde says,
"I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!"


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Two Blondes With Hammers...

Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work
on a Habitat for Humanity House.
Lynn, who was nailing down house siding,
would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it
over her shoulder or nail it in.

Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked,
"Why are you throwing those nails away?"
Lynn explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch,
about half of them have the head on the wrong end
so I throw them away."
Judy got completely upset & yelled,
"You moron! Those nails aren't defective!
They're for the other side of the house!"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Did you hear about the two blondes
who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You might have to think twice about this one.

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
Of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency
Room doctor asked her.

'Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting
Off your finger?"

"No, Silly," the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, &
then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants...
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'"
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00
to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.' "
"So then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a
loud noise.' So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
trigger."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad
hailstorm...her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the
tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.

So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started
blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little
harder, & still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, "What are you doing?" The first
blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the
Tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes & said, "Uh, like hello!
you need to roll up the windows first."

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
These are just too cute not to pass on!!!!

A blonde was shopping at Target &
came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took
It to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos...
It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold."

"Wow," said the blonde, "that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!"
So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.

Her boss saw it on her desk.
'What's that," he asked?

"Why, that's a thermos...it keeps hot things hot & cold things cold," she
replied.

Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"

The blond replied...
"Two popsicles & some coffee."

+++++++++++++

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"

The blonde replies,
"Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
my mother had passed away."
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says,
"Why don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax & rest."

"Thanks, but I'd be better off here.
I need to keep my mind off it & I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual.
A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically...

"What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks.

"No!" exclaims the blonde.
"I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!"

Blondes Are The Best!!!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Even Hunters have hearts



A hunter and his friend were sitting in a tall tower stand near Highway 7
early one cold December morning. Suddenly, a huge buck walked out over the
corn they had spread in the low shrubs. The buck was magnificent, a once in
a lifetime animal. His rack was huge. The hunter's hand shook as his mind
was already counting the
Boone and Crockett points.


Moving quickly, the hunter carefully aimed the Simmons'
Whitetail Classic
scope on his .25 WSSM at the unsuspecting buck.
As he was about to squeeze the trigger on this deer of a lifetime, his
friend alerted him to a
funeral procession passing slowly down Highway 7.

The hunter pulled away from the gunstock, set the rifle down, took off his
hat, bowed his head and then closed his eyes in prayer.
His friend was stunned, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing
I have ever seen you do. You actually let that trophy deer go to pay
respects to a passing funeral procession. You are indeed the kindest man I
have ever known, and I feel lucky to call you a friend."

The hunter shrugged. "Yeah, well, we were married for 37 years."

Thursday, December 2, 2010

My Grandson saw my Paycheck!


I showed my grandson my paycheck and this is what happened...


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

DADDY'S GONNA EAT YOUR FINGERS

I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter

was having a wonderful time playing on the bed.

At one point she said, 'Daddy, look at this' , and stuck out two of her fingers.

Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck

her tiny fingers in my mouth and said ,

"Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," pretending to eat them.

I went back to packing, looked up again

and my daughter was standing on the bed

staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said,
"What's wrong, honey?"

She replied,

"What happened to my booger?"

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