Monday, November 30, 2009
A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the appear?' The mother answered, 'God made ; they had children; and so was all mankind made.' Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.' The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?' The mother answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.'
Sunday, November 29, 2009
You just joined the as a freshman...
You are SO PROUD that you have been chosen to pump up the crowd as the school's 'BELL RINGER' during the big game...
Your whole family, all of your friends, and 15 million viewers see you on Saturday television, ringing the team's bell...
But due to the tragically unfortunate placement of the bell, the camera, and your body, your whole family, all of your friends, and 15 million ESPN viewers, see this instead.........
Saturday, November 28, 2009
A doctor in Duluth wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant. 'Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic.
I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients.'
'Yes, sir!' answers Ole.
The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: 'So, Ole,
How was your day?'
Ole told him that he took care of three patients. 'The first one had a Headache so I gave him TYLENOL.'
'Bravo, Mate, and the second one?' asks the doctor.
'The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir,' says Ole.
Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?' asks the Doctor.
'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters.Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table and shouts: HELP ME - I haven't
Seen a man in over two years!!
'Tunderin' Lard Yeezus, Ole, what did you do?' asks the doctor.
'I put drops in her eyes!!