The Tax Office claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him. I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them, demanded the rep.
Well, replied the farmer, there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $500 a week plus free room and board. He also gets triple time for working on a Sunday and a slab of beer for a Happy Hour every Friday. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $400 per week plus free room and board. She doesn't work on Sundays and I provide paid satellite television for free in her room.
Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $20 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whiskey every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit, says the agent.
Well that would be me, replied the farmer. – what do you want to know!