Tuesday, August 31, 2010

How to Sell Toothbrushes



HOW TO SELL ... TOOTHBRUSHES

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

"I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher..

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn.

The teacher held her breath ...

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467,"


"$2,467!" cried the teacher,

"What in the world were you selling"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher,

"How could you possibly sell enough
tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand, I gave everybody who walked by a free sample."

They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like dog shit!"

Then I would say,"It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

"I used the Obama governmental approach of giving you something shitty
, but looks good, for free, and then making you pay to get the shitty taste out of your mouth."

The teacher was speechless. . . . . . . .
Little Johnny got 5 stars for his efforts, bless his heart. . . . . . .

Monday, August 30, 2010

What does your morning run look like?


This is all fun until you run out of ledges to jump to!



Nothing like a 20 foot drop and no where to go to cure you of jumping around on buildings!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Put Mommy on the Phone



**Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,**


**"Hello?'**






**'Hi honey.**
**This is Daddy.**
**Is Mommy near the phone?'**






**'No, Daddy.**
**She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'**






**After a brief pause,**






**Daddy says,**
**'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'**






**'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy,**
**Right now.'**






Brief Pause.





**'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.**
**Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs**
**And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy**
**That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'**





**'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.'**




**A few minutes later**
**The little girl comes back to the phone.**




**'I did it, Daddy.'**



**'And what happened, honey?' **


'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming.**






**Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser**
**And now she isn't moving at all!'**






**'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'**






**'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.**






**He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window**
**And into the swimming pool.**
**But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water**
**Last week to clean it.**






**He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'**






*****Long Pause*****







*****Longer Pause*****







*****Even Longer Pause*****






**Then Daddy says,**






**'Swimming pool? ...........**






**Is this 486-5731?'*








**No, I think you have the wrong number........

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