How to Play Football in Bed

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the
old man passes gas and says, "seven points". His wife
rolls over and says "What in the world was that?" The man

replied, "its fart football." A few minutes later his wife
lets one go and says "Touchdown, tie score". After about
five minutes the old man lets another one go and says,
"aha, I'm ahead 14 to 7.

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says,
"touchdown, tie score".

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and

says, "field goal, I lead 17 to 14". Now the pressure is
on the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real

hard. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it
everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.
The wife says, "What the hell was that?" The old man says,
"Half time, switch sides.