Notes from stupid parents

These are real
notes written by parents in the Memphis school district.

Spellings have
been left intact.

1. My son is under
a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce
Lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.

3. Dear school:
please ecsc's john being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse
Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse
Roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his
hip.

6. John has been
absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent
yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could
not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not
be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse
ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse
Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had the shits.

12. Please excuse
tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was
absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse
jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie
home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she
wear.

16. Please excuse
Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the
porch, and when we found it Monday. We thought it was Sunday.

17. Sally won't
be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter
was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse
Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse
Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was
absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse
Brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was
absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach.
Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever
and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must
be something going around, her father even got hot last night.