The Presidents visit to the Troops didn't go so well

Dead Guy in an Elevator

I would love to do this sometime.

It would be hard to keep a straight face though.

If there was a window I bet some of these women would have jumped out it!

The Perfect Husband?

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone
on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and
begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat.
It's only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the

Lexus dealership and saw the new
models. I sawone I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN:"OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Janie
andfound out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market.
They'reasking $980,000 for it."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000.
They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty thousand
if it's what you really want."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at
him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?"