Friday, February 26, 2010

Darwin's are out!!!

Yes,
it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards
are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here is the glorious winner:


1.

When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended

victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California

would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only

inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the

trigger again.. This time it worked.

And

now, the honorable mentions:

2.

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat

cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted

a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting

negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.

He tried the machine and he also lost a finger... The chef's

claim was approved.

3.

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his

car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to

find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot

her.

4.

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus

driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be

transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting

to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus

stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then

delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the

staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to

bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3

days.

5.

An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from

serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When

asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that

he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to

a moving train before he was hit.

6.

A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the

counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash

drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the

register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the

cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the

counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...

$15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a

crime committed?]

7.

Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He

decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor

store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the

cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The

cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the

head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was

made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on

videotape.

8.

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man

grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately,

and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of

the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the

snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store.

The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand

there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer,

that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse

from."

9.

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked

into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a

gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he

said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order.

When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't

available for breakfast... The man, frustrated, walked away.

[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10.

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home

parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained

for.. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man

curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police

spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal

gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's

sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to

press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever

had.

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