How to Mess Up a Job Interview

We've all been interviewed for jobs. And,

we've all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not

to do.

Don't bite your nails. Don't fidget. Don't interrupt. Don't

belch.

If we did any of the don'ts, we knew we'd disqualify

ourselves instantly.

But some job applicants go light years beyond this.

We surveyed top personnel

executives of 100 major American corporations and

asked for stories of unusual

behavior by job applicants.

The lowlights:

- "...stretched out on the floor to fill out the job

application."

- "She wore a Walkman and said she could

listen to me and the music at the same time."

- "A balding candidate abruptly excused

himself. Returned to office a few

minutes later, wearing a hairpiece."

- "...asked to see interviewer's resume to see

if the personnel executive was

qualified to judge the candidate."

- "... announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded

to eat a hamburger and

french fries in the interviewer's office -

wiping the ketchup on her sleeve."

- "Stated that, if he were hired, he would

demonstrate his loyalty by having

the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm."

- "Interrupted to phone his therapist for

advice on answering specific interview questions."

- "When I asked him about his hobbies, he stood

up and started tap dancing

around my office."

- "At the end of the interview, while I stood

there dumbstruck, went through

my purse, took out a brush, brushed

his hair, and left."

- "...pulled out a Polaroid camera and

snapped a flash picture of me. Said he

collected photos of everyone who

interviewed him."

- "Said he wasn't interested because the position

paid too much."

- "While I was on a long-distance phone call,

the applicant took out a copy

of Penthouse, and looked through the photos

only, stopping longest at the centerfold."

- "During the interview, an alarm clock

went off from the candidate's brief case.

He took it out, shut it off, apologized and

said he had to leave for another interview."

- "A telephone call came in for the job applicant.

It was from his wife. His side of

the conversation went like this: 'Which

company? When do I start? What's the

salary?'

I said, 'I assume you're not interested in

conducting the interview any further.'

He promptly responded, 'I am as long

as you'll pay me more.' I didn't hire him,

but later found out there was no other

job offer. It was a scam to get a higher

offer."

- "His attache [case] opened when

he picked it up and the contents

spilled,

revealing ladies' undergarments and

assorted makeup and perfume."

- "Candidate said he really didn't want

to get a job, but the unemployment

office needed proof that he was looking

for one."

- "...asked who the lovely babe was, pointing to

the picture on my desk.

When I said it was my wife, he asked

if she was home now and wanted

my phone number. I called security."

- "Pointing to a black case he carried

into my office, he said that if he was

not hired, the bomb would go off.

Disbelieving, I began to state why he

would never be hired and that I

was going to call the police. He

then reached

down to the case, flipped a switch,

and ran. No one was injured, but

I did need to get a new desk."