Airline Height Limits just Instated

The Airlines have just put a Height Restriction for passengers to avoid this....

I always thought that I wanted to be taller, after seeing this I think I might change my mind. At least for when I fly.

Sweet Old Love

A husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you
remember our first time together over fifty years ago? We went
behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence
and I made love to you.' 
 
'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.' 
 
'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there
again and we can do it for old time's sake?' 
 
'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but
good idea!' 
 
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their
conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself,
I'll just keep an eye  on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. 
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on
each other for  support aided by walking sticks. 

Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.  As she leans against
the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the
most furious love making that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about
ten minutes while both are making loud noises and screaming. 

Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. 
 
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned
something new about life and old age. 
 
After about half an hour of lying on the ground
recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back
on. 

The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this
is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. 
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me,
but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life
together. Is there some sort of secret to this?' 
 
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply...... 

'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.' 

Alien Fishing

Watch Out they may just catch you one day!!!!

I guess some people just can't resist a cold one dangling right in front of their face!!

Are ALL Kids born with a Mean Streak??

More evidence that Kids may just be born with a Mean streak. 

Keep your eye on them.....

They just might be plotting something against you, and they are more dangerous in groups....

So Watch Out!

Wal-Mart Wonder Computer

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike my elbow really hurts, I guess I'd better see a doctor. 

Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money, Mike replies. There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to      

do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor.        

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart!' 

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. 

The computer prints the following: 

     

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 

     

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 

     

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

      
5 . If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!        

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart!

Open Mouth Insert Foot!!! NOW!!!!

Have you ever had one of those moments when you just want to crawl into a hole and die?!!

Well Randy is having one of those in this next clip.....

Did you guess the correct answer, or were you right there with Randy on this one????!!!!

Bulls-eye!!

Have you ever thought that you were driving around with a big Bulls-eye on your car that ever bird in town can see from the air?

I think this is the case especially when you just get done washing it.

Now for just $19.95 plus Shipping and Handling you can have your very own.....

Bird Crap Detector!!!

This would be perfect when your sitting in a quiet Church meeting

I Have to find this ringtone for my phone!!!

This is Truly Romantic

This is Romance at it's finest!!!

Can't you just SMELL the Romance?!!!

Genies Actually have more FUN!

You have all heard the saying that Blondes have more fun..... well in this video clip we find out that it is really the Genies that have more fun!!!!

Sorry Blondes!

Air Travelers Beware!!

I don't know about you but I have definately felt like this guy when I have flown the friendly skys!

Nothing like lost luggage to add some spice to your trip!!!

German Coast Guard

Hopefully I will never get lost or be sinking in German waters!!!!!

Need some Fresh Air???!!!!!

You may never use the phrase "I'm going out to get some Fresh Air AGAIN!!!

Watch this Video and you'll know what I mean.

Sensitivity Training

I am sure that secretly deep down all wives, girlfriends, moms, basically women in general would love to send their men to sensitivity training. 

I am sorry ladies but I think that the results would be similar to what is shown in the video below.

I just don't think there is any hope for us!

Some Great Beer Ads! - FUNNY!!!!!

Have you ever Wondered why it is that Beer Ads are always the Best?!!

The Funny thing is I love to laugh at them but I have never had a single urge to go out and buy Beer.

You Ladies will get a kick out of this...

Figure out your NEW Name

My NEW NAME IS: Snickle Chicken Sniffer!

 

 

 

Follow the instructions to find YOUR new name.

 

The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

 

 So:-

 

 1. Use the third letter of your first name to 

 determine your New first name:

 

 a = snickle

 b = doombah

 c = goober

 d = cheesey

 e = crusty

 f = greasy

 g = dumbo

 h = farcus

 i = dorky

 j = doofus

 k = funky

 l = boobie

 m = sleezy

 n = sloopy

 o = fluffy

 p = stinky

 q = slimy

 r = dorfus

 s = snooty

 t = tootsie

 u = dipsy

 v = sneezy

 w = liver

 x = skippy

 y = dink y

 z = zippy

 

 2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

 

 a = dippin

 b = feather

 c = b atty

 d = burger

 e = chicken

 f = barffy

 g = lizard

 h = waffle

 i = farkle

 j = monkey

 k = flippin

 l = fricken

 m = bubble

 n = rhino

 o = potty

 p = hamster

 q = buckle

 r = gizzard

 s = lickin

 t = snickle

 u = chuckle

 v = pickle

 w = hubble

 x = dingle

 y = gorilla

 z = girdle

 

 3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

 a = butt

 b = boob

 c = face

 d = nose

 e = hump

 f = breath

 g = pants

 h = shorts

 i = lips

 j = honker

 k = head

 l = tush

 m = chunks

 n = dunkin

 o = brains

 p = biscui ts

 q = toes

 r = doodle

 s = fanny

 t = sniffer

 u = sprinkles

 v = frack

 w = squirt

 x = humperdinck

 y = hiney

 z = juice

 

 Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is: Fluffy Chucklefanny.

Leave me Comments on your funniest names I want to know the best one out there.....My Favorite right now is Boobie Rhino Pants!