Wal-Mart Wonder Computer

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike my elbow really hurts, I guess I'd better see a doctor. 

Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money, Mike replies. There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to      

do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars... a lot cheaper than a doctor.        

So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart!' 

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. 

The computer prints the following: 

     

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 

     

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 

     

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

      
5 . If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!        

Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart!