New Male and Female ATM Procedures

 

MALE VS. FEMLE AT THE ATM MACHINE >  A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: >   >   > 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles..  >   >   > Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.  >   >   > After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been developed Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'  >   > *******************************  > MALE PROCEDURE:  > 1. Drive up to the cash machine. > 2. Put down your car window.  > 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. > 4.. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.  > 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. > 6.. Put window up.  > 7. Drive off.  >   >   > *******************************  >   >   > FEMALE PROCEDURE:  > What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!! >   >   > 1. Drive up to cash machine. > 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.  > 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. > 4 Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.  > 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. > 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. > 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.  > 8. Insert card.  > 9 Re-insert card the right way.  > 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.  > 11.. Enter PIN.  > 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. > 13.. Enter amount of cash required.  > 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.  > 15. Retrieve cash and receipt.  > 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.  > 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. > 18. Re-check makeup.  > 19. Drive forward 2 feet.  > 20. Reverse back to cash machine.  > 21. Retrieve card.  > 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!  > 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. > 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.  > 25. Redial person on cell phone.  > 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.  > 27. Release Parking Brake. I think that I was behind this lady yesterday!